Journey to The Savage Planet

WELCOME TO THE PIONEER PROGRAM! As the newest recruit of Kindred Aerospace – The 4th best interstellar space exploration company – Your job is to determine if the planet ARY-26 planet is fit for humans. You may be short on equipment and experience, but good luck!
Your mission includes:
• Play with a friend – Play solo or online with a friend. If you have one.
• Explore and catalog the flora and fauna. From strange spherical birds to hallucinogenic plants to ‘festering alien orifices.’ Try not to die.
• No Expense Spared* – You get some cool tools for free, like a laser pistol, rocket booster pack, and ‘probe’, but if you need something you have a slick 3D printer can turn space trash into sweet items.
• Are you alone? – Bonus mysteries! Complete your survey of the planet to find out. You’ll know you’re on the road to completion when you’ve heard the words ‘cucumber sh*twater’ and found the ‘festering butthole’.
Onward to adventure!
* – Most expenses spared.